Feedback is an essential component of personal and professional growth, yet it can be one of the most challenging aspects of leadership. While many embrace feedback as an opportunity for development, others resist it, struggle to make necessary changes, and end up failing to meet performance standards. Addressing issues related to feedback requires a thoughtful approach that balances compassion and empathy with the need for accountability and performance.
Understanding Resistance
Understanding why someone resists feedback or cannot meet performance expectations is crucial. Resistance often stems from fear of failure, a lack of trust in the feedback provider, or a fixed mindset that prevents the individual from seeing feedback as a growth opportunity. Before jumping to conclusions, leaders should engage in open, non-judgmental conversations to explore the underlying reasons for resistance. Creating an environment where feedback is seen as a tool for improvement, rather than as criticism, can help reduce resistance and foster a culture of continuous learning.
In some cases, individuals may genuinely be unable to change despite receiving feedback. This inability could be due to skill gaps, personal circumstances, or a fundamental mismatch between the individual’s strengths and the role’s demands. When faced with this scenario, assess whether the individual has been provided with the necessary support, training, and resources to make the required changes. Sometimes, the issue lies not in the individual’s capabilities but in a lack of support; they have simply not been set up with the tools and knowledge to succeed.
Situational Leadership® teaches us that we must match our leadership style to the need of the specific task an individual is being asked to complete. In many cases, it is difficult to think at task level – especially when you’re evaluating someone’s performance – but thinking at this granular level can help you find the root cause of a problem and come up with an appropriate solution. For example, say that you are not receiving project status updates that you expect to receive. First, make sure the team member knows that the project status updates are expected. If not, you may have solved your problem! If you need to dig deeper, think about the tasks that go into creating a project status update and try to identify where the problem is occurring. For example, the tasks might include:
- Identifying who the audience is for the project status update
- Identifying the expectations of the audience
- Identifying the needed information for the update
- Collecting the information for the update from project team members
- Collating the information into the update document (and potentially creating a template for easy population)
- Assessing any gaps in the document
- Evaluating the relevance for the audience
- Sending or delivering the update
Often, we roll a number of smaller tasks into one larger task – e.g. “deliver the project status update” – and do not realize that the person may be perfectly capable of part but not all of these smaller tasks. For example, maybe they’re great at collecting information but can’t define what the audience expects. Task definition and alignment are critical to providing valuable feedback and to setting performance expectations.
Addressing Performance Issues
When someone simply cannot meet the performance standards despite all efforts to support them, it may be a sign that the role is not a good fit for that individual. Before making any decisions, consider whether the standards are realistic and clearly communicated and whether the individual has had ample opportunity to develop the required skills. Performance issues should never come as a surprise; clear expectations and regular feedback are key to ensuring that individuals understand what is required of them and also realize when they are not meeting those requirements.
For those who resist feedback or struggle to change, coaching can be a powerful tool. A skilled coach can help an individual develop a growth mindset, improve their self-awareness, and build the skills needed to adapt. This might involve setting smaller, more attainable goals that build confidence and competence over time, making the path to improvement feel less daunting. Coaching is a great way to bring in an objective third party to help someone feel safe enough to be vulnerable and grow.
However, there are times when even the best efforts do not lead to the desired improvement. In these cases, it may be time to re-evaluate the individual’s fit within the role or the organization. This does not have to be seen as a failure; rather, it can be an opportunity to find a role that better aligns with the individual’s strengths, leading to greater satisfaction and performance. Once you experience moving someone out of a role that doesn’t align with their skills into a role that does align well, you will see how people can shine when they have a job that brings out their best selves! I now refer to this as a “graduation” rather than a failure. It may still be a big change and must be handled with empathy and respect. However, if you and the individual both know that you have worked as a team to define their skills and their new role to set them up for future success, you can partner successfully in this “graduation,” confident that everyone is moving in the right direction.
We Can Do Hard Things
In the words of Glennon Doyle, “We can do hard things.” Feedback requires integrity and courage from the team leader to do what needs to be done rather than what is easy. Courage is required to provide honest feedback and to take appropriate action when change does not happen in a reasonable amount of time. Integrity extends to making tough decisions when someone is not able to meet the necessary standards. Effective leadership also means striking a balance between compassion for the individual and accountability to the organization. It’s about providing every opportunity for growth while also recognizing when it’s time to move on. Doing what’s right for the individual and the team ensures that everyone is set up for success, even if that means making difficult decisions and having difficult conversations.
Dealing with individuals who resist feedback, are unable to change, or cannot meet performance standards is one of the most challenging aspects of leadership. However, by understanding the root causes, providing the necessary support, and acting with integrity, leaders can navigate these situations effectively – using a combination of empathy and professionalism that ensures everyone involved can move forward with dignity and mutual respect.
